The Three Pigs

    Once upon a time, well, more like sometime in the late 20th Century, there was a village of pigs with three little pigs who were just about to graduate from high school.  Their parents told them it was time to go out and get a life of their own.  They were no more tax benefits left to have them hang around the house and they were no longer covered under their health insurance.  

    Well, PiggyOne, a cute little girl piggy went out to find her place in the world.  She went to the welfare office because that is where she learned in school to go if you didn't want to work but wanted a place of your own to live.  After waiting in a long line, Ms. Mary Wolf at the welfare office set her up with a nice house in the burbs.  Ms. Wolf clued PiggyOne about all of the scams about how to keep getting free money, housing, food and medical care.  

    Ms. Wolf was a nice little old lady wolf.  She had retired from her previous job of harassing poor little piggies when affirmative action offered big bad wolves jobs in the welfare office with good taxpayer paid benefits.  She suggested that if PiggyOne got pregnant and didn't know who the father was, that she could get even more benefits for about as long as she wanted.  

    Ms. Wolf also mentioned that PiggyOne might go to the rally that evening for "Piggy's against working too hard".  Ms. Wolf was organizing a protest group and she needed a few volunteers to hold up signs for TV cameras outside a meeting of leaders who thought that every little pig should learn to support themselves through hard work.  Ms. Wolf was salivating at the opportunity of recruiting another mouth for the welfare state.  The more mouths to feed, the more important Ms. Wolf's job was.  

    PiggyTwo, a cute little boy piggy, talked to PiggyOne to see how she was doing.  She said, "Sure come on over.  I have this great free place to live.  By the way, I saw PiggyThree yesterday.  He was putting the finishing touches on my new house.  After dinner we can go out to this great rally that Ms. Wolf is organizing.  She wants to make it so that we can get free internet and a free computer.  Maybe later we can even see ourselves on TV.  Did you know this place even has cable TV?  I can watch all my favorite soaps, Oprah, Jerry and the evening news."  

    PiggyThree, well, he ran out and got some education and a good paying job.  Now he spent most of his time waiting in line to get a permit to build his own house.  While in line, he was thumbing through the latest tax forms trying to figure out what he owed so that Ms. Wolf's uncle Sam in the tax department didn't come and take away everything he earned to pay the penalty on some obscure tax regulation that no one understood.  

    Seems that Ms. Wolf's cousin Bob worked in the building department and had made it so that you couldn't get a permit to build a house unless you first built some free housing for the 'homeless' and jobless.  PiggyThree had just spent the last few months building a house for his old friends PiggyOne and PiggyTwo.  

     Meanwhile, the Wolf's were holding a family reunion.  Bob, Sam and Mary were figuring out their retirement.  Seems their union had "talked" the village into letting them retire 10 years before everyone else with almost a full salary for life. Uncle Sam was telling Mary and Bob how if they retired from their current job at the first opportunity and then switched jobs, they could even start building up another pension that in 10 years would almost double their current 'retirement' pay.

    "Yes sir," Uncle Sam said.  "Sure am glad we got out of the chasing and eating pigs business.  It is so much more fun to make up silly rules to keep fools like PiggyThree working his little tail off making things for PiggyOne and PiggyTwo and paying taxes for our retirements.  PiggyThree is so busy he'll never figure out which way is up.  He probably even things he is doing what is right.  By the way, did you get PiggyOne and PiggyTwo to fall for that better benefits for jobless crap?  It is important to recruit new fools so that we can keep this scam up."

Always Right